The near future…

Just last week, two of my closest cousins/friends passed the June 2009 Nursing Board Exam. Kudos to you Jay and Khatz! I love you both! The sad part is, they’re both leaving us behind as they search for greener pastures abroad –> which got me thinking of my own future.

With only a few months to go before graduation sets in, some questions come to mind…

What career path will I take?

Will I start a business or will I join the corporate world?

Will  I stay in the Philippines or will I work abroad?

Or…

Will I take up masters? If so, do I take it here or accept scholarships in Europe?

And what about law shool? I’ve always dreamed of becoming a kick-ass corporate lawyer

How silly, i’ll be turning 20 soon and I still have no idea where the hell i’m heading. Although one thing’s for sure, I will no longer depend on my parents’ financial support as soon as I can manage. I want to be independent and I want to make the most of my yuppie days. I’m not afraid of starting from the bottom. I don’t mind taking on clerical work and getting promoted eventually. Kasi i’d like to believe that the real world is not that bad (right…). Nonetheless, I think i’m ready for it, I just need proper guidance and a pinch of motivation.

Still, it’s not all about me. I have my angel and OUR future together to think of. At this point in time, we both hope to end up together. Kayo ba naman mabuhay ng more than 7 years with your special someone right there beside you, di mo ba nana-ising kayo na lang sana habang buhay? Pero syempre before the happily ever after comes, kailangan munang stable kami holistically. And when we talk about how it’s going to be for us, the idea of working overseas always gets brought up.

I personally don’t want to work elsewhere. I love the Philippines and this is where I want my family and I to live in. Abroad for me means vacation/leisure, not work. Unfortunately, a comfortable life will not materialize without a good paying job, and that is something other countries can offer. It is inevitable that in time, my angel and I would have to acknowledge that option.

So why do I cry everytime I think about him working oceans away from me if it’ll be for our future naman? Dahil i’d rather that we separate before he leaves. Why suffer from a long distance relationship when you can both look for someone else near you? Trust or even faith can only do so much. Will you still be able to say “i miss you” when right behind you is someone who’s willing to fill up the emptiness you feel? Or say “i love you” and actually mean it when day after day it’s just the computer screen or mobile phone that you’re cultivating a relationship with?

Why drag the relationship ’til it falls apart when you can spare yourselves some loving memories? I know a lot of couples manage despite the distance, but us? It’ll be extremely difficult given the fact that the very foundation of our relationship is supported by our proximity. A few months is still bearable but a year or so. Definitely a no-no.

So will I say “no” or “stay” when a better opportunity comes along? NO. Because before the US/WE/TOGETHER, there is a Jul and Cy, two individuals who both deserve to experience life. Bakit, maibibigay ko ba sa kanya yung ipagpapaliban niyang oportunidad abroad? Maipapangako ko bang mas magiging maayos buhay namin dito when there’s nothing to compare it with? The loving memories that we’ll leave behind might still work to our advantage naman eh. Maghiwalay man baka sa huli magkabalikan din (It’s not a miracle, we’ve been there done that).

But he also has his side of the equation, he’ll probably post it here someday. For now, we’ll just veer away from this topic dahil bata pa kami at marami pang pwedeng mangyari. Nevertheless, I will only stop crying whenever we talk about this future of ours if someone can assure me that “love is sweetest the 3rd time around”.

June 14, 2009

“Love can only take you so far…”

To date, my angel and I have “known” each other for about  7 1/2 years already. Wow! that’s almost half of my life! I can’t believe we’ve been together that long. But i’m not complaining, he’s everything i’ve ever dreamed of and this relationship is more than I could ever wish for.

Still, it’ll be hypocritical of me to say that everything was smooth sailing. We do have our share of ups and downs - from petty fights to near break-up scenarios. There are times when our principles in life don’t match and it’s so difficult to find a middle ground. Other times, our bad days just coincide and temporarily taking time apart is the only solution. Conflicts may tend to drive us nuts for long hours but at the end of the day, we both know that it’s all just part of having a relationship. After going through so many obstacles and challenges, we now know how to face them more carefully and maturely. It helps that we both know, understand and accept the fact that we have flaws and differences.

Furthermore, we don’t just consider our relationship to be that of “lovers”. We are the best of friends - we fool around, share secrets, talk nonsense, humiliate (barnak/bara) each other as often as possible and all other things normal friends do. We can be ourselves to a point that we don’t mind barfing, farting or doing anything disgusting when the other one is around. We’re also a family, we take good care of each other since we are both away from our parents and siblings. I’m more like the mother as I would always remind him to drink his vitamins, exercise every now and then, save money etc. While he, on the other hand is more like an elder brother since he always reprimands me from wearing short shorts/skirts, fetches me from parties, guides me through life and the like.

I know that things will be different this time around. Whether that’s good or bad, i’m not sure. All I know is that patience, honesty and fidelity are some of the virtues that will definitely help us get through all these. And our Almighty Father of course, His love and guidance will keep us together.

~Cy~